The Coaches Convention Through the Eyes of a Football Wife

This was my fourth time attending the coaches convention and this year was my favorite by far. I know some of you may be thinking...."why would coaches wives want to even go to that?" For me, it's been a much needed break, from the everyday crazy life of being a mama of four boys👶🏼👦🏼👦🏻👦🏼🏃🏼‍♀️😜

Here are my top 5 reasons why I encourage you ladies to join your husband at the convention next year.

1. You get a chance to see wives you've been on staffs with in your husband's previous coaching jobs. Meeting up with old friends is a convention highlight every year. This year I had lunch with some, attended an AFCWA meeting with others, and also connected watching the championship game at a party with another. Sharing laughs, memories,  and our own stories of this coaches wife life.

2. Meeting new friends by joining the AFCWA (American Football Coaches Wives Association.) This was my first year becoming a member and I am so happy I joined. You can attend the meetings, go to the luncheon or brunch, and also give back to the host community by doing community service (this year it was visiting a children's hospital). You can really choose to do as much or as little as you want to. At registration, I was blessed to meet a football wife, Peggy English, with over 40 years of experience as a coach's wife. You can learn a lot from a woman like her, with all the years as a coach's wife. Being involved with the AFCWA is a way to meet new wives from all over, and be a part of an association that truly understands and supports this lifestyle. Next year I plan on attending even more events.

3. The Parties. This year we attended the Under Armour party. With food, drinks, and live music it was an amazing time. I am not going to lie, 95% of the room is sea of men in khakis and team polos, but coaches wives find a way to seek each other out in those kind of situations. Of course we connect instantly not knowing each other.....we just get it💍🏈👰🏼👍🏼.

4. See new places. This was my first time in Nashville and I absolutely loved it. A great downtown, shopping right next to the hotel, live music, and great food. It's a great way to experience new places🎤🎸🛍✈️🍸🍤

5. A much needed getaway. I have four boys and after the holidays......mama is exhausted. I look forward to the convention every year to have my own time to workout, rest, and see old friends. This trip is not great for 1-on-1 time with your hubby.....but I still find it refreshing. He's off talking Ball, going to meetings, or catching up with old coaches he worked with.  Luckily this year we won a conference championship, so he was not out of work and having to interview for a bunch of jobs! 🙌🏻 We each have our own things going on, but we eventually make time to meet up and visit with other couples who are old friends. Thanks to a canceled flight....my husband and I had an extra night in Nashville. Though I was definitely missing my children, we made good use of the time and enjoyed a rare dinner for 2 at the convention.

I hope I have convinced some of you to join me at the convention next January in Charlotte, NC.  And to the coaches out there who have never brought your wife....make it a priority....it may show some head coach what a great "recruiter" you are! 😉

A New Year.....straight from the Mama of four babes

1. Find your happy. There is always something to be happy about....even when there are bumps in the road. We all know people who find anything and everything to complain about.....we see them everyday on social media. I may be sporting the mom bun for four days straight.....but I also have 4 wonderful children that remind me I am beautiful even on those messy bun days. In all honesty, my life hasn't been all smooth sailing, but I always try remember there are SO many people out there who have much bigger worries and could only hope for my "problems." I have a healthy beautiful family....I am blessed🙏🏼👶🏼👦🏼👦🏻👦🏼❤️

2. Everything in moderation. I could probably be 2 sizes smaller than I am....if I put myself on some fad diet or barely ate.  No thanks! I love good food....and quite frankly life is too short to not enjoy it. Don't get me wrong...I don't eat what I want everyday, 
and I exercise daily. When I go out to eat I choose to eat what I want.....and let's just say I am not afraid of a cocktail or two🍸🍝💃🏼

3. Accept that you cannot change others. I have learned this the hard way unfortunately....people can really hurt you in life....even those closest to you. You can't make people love you, keep people from talking about you, or even stop someone from betraying you. I do believe, however, you have complete control over who you let surround you. Let go of those who disrespect you, and embrace those that believe in you.

4. Love hard. My husband and I have gone though a lot during 14 years of marriage.....there are ups,  downs, and in-betweens. There is no "perfect marriage". During Xmas break we were able to go on four dates.....just the two of us. To be honest, a couple of those nights I was tired from getting ready for Xmas, and I didn't know if I felt up to going out (that elf on the shelf and two kids with December birthdays can be overwhelming). After thinking about it, I sucked it up.....got ready....and you know what.....we had the most amazing time.

5. Play. It's easy with four babes (kiddos) to always be busy. Seriously I do 1-2 loads of laundry every single day.....easssssily. But when that little baby wants to play chase...those dirty dishes can wait. Or a load of laundry can wait until  after a round of Mario kart with my big boys. I've only got so many years of dishes piling up, and stinky boy clothes in the hampers.....I'll miss that one day. Play now....it's so worth it.

6. Say you are sorry. No one likes being wrong......trust me, I hate it. But it's always important to say sorry when you are.....those little people are watching you. Those kiddos will grow up to be adults some day.....and if you don't say sorry.....why will they. Being accountable for mistakes teaches your children valuable lessons. 

7. Forgive. This can be a hard one. I can forgive, but I don't forget. If you show me change and really mean you are sorry I can forgive. Sorry is only a word....actions truly prove you are. Forgive....for your own heart....but don't forget. Plus forgiving and moving on drives them wild 😉.

9. Ask for help. There is no "i" in team. For years in the beginning of my marriage I tried to do it all.....I literally wore myself out. In today's society women have to work to help support a family. So.....guess what?!?!??! The family needs to all help and do their part with the house. A mama is not superwoman.......well.....close😉💪🏼.

9. Be Selfish. It's ok to want time to yourself from time to time. We all need that break. I am envious of those who have family close to help facilitate that. Sometimes, for me, just escaping to take a bath or giving myself a pedi/mani can help me recharge💅🏼🛀🏼

10. Be you. Don't compare/compete with someone else. We all have our own journeys in life.....our own story. What works for one mama may not work for you. Every mama has bad days, and a messy house from time to time. Love yourself and the road you took to be who you are now. Be you.....and own it👑💖

Happy New Years to all the mamas out there......you got 2017👶🏼👦🏼👦🏻👦🏼🙏🏼❤️

🎅🏻Eck's-mas Traditions🎄

This is my favorite time of year. My kiddos are now 14, 11, 5, and 15 months, and we have created some Xmas or "Eck's-mas" traditions through the years. Here are some of my favorites:

1. Bake with your kids. Every year we make at least 3-4 different types of Christmas cookies, but the cutout frosted sugar cookies are still always their favorite. Let them have a bunch to frost and decorate however they want. Just wait to clean your kitchen until after it's all said and done.....Sprinkles and frosting are everywhere.....but oh how they enjoy it!

2. Christmas cards. I always get a few extra for their scrapbooks. The last few years I even started framing them to use as part of our decorations at Xmas time. I only wish I would have started that years ago.

3. Christmas movies. We have a growing Christmas movie collection. We love being cozy watching them and then putting them away till next Eck's-mas so we can enjoy them again.

4. Give. Every year we find a child in need, who is typically asking for something that we take for granted. I believe it's important to teach kids the importance of giving. It also helps remind them that we have a lot to be thankful for.

5. Christmas Jammie's. This is a big one for me because I like all my photos at Xmas to be festive.....everyone coordinated with the holiday spirit! I love seeing pictures from Christmas past, with the kiddos opening gifts in their Xmas Jammie's.

6. The Elf on the shelf. A HUGE commitment for the family, but that little guy brings so much Christmas Spirit into our house. Each morning from December 1-24th there is excitement to find him.....and sometime he brings special goodies straight from the North Pole. Every year he has brought a new ornament for each child....something they will always have to remember their Christmas as a child. Our elf reminds everyone to be good and to believe.

7. BELIEVE. At the Eck home: if you Believe, you will receive. You will hear this frequently this time of year. When you have a wide range of ages in a household you must believe.

8. Play. We have typically lived around snow. Although I hate being cold, you forget about that when you get out and take your kids outside to go sledding, ice skating, or to build a snowman. I have the best memories taking my sons sledding in MN and MT. We still share funny stories, remembering and laughing about the good times.

9. Decorate. My whole house gets decorated for Xmas. It's a lot of work! 20 storage tubs to be exact!  We always get one big real tree, and two smaller artificial ones. I love my house fully decorated so it's almost magical and full of Christmas spirit for my family.

10. Santa Picture. I had one taken every year since my first son was born. Crying or not, I get the picture and frame it to put up in the house every year at Xmas. They are some of my favorite decorations. So many memories looking at the man in the red suit and seeing my growing family and their love of him and Christmas.

Happy Holidays to you all. A wonderful time of year for love and happiness. Enjoy your traditions year after year. Feel free to leave a comment below and add a special tradition you may have. I'd love to hear them❤️🎄💚🎅🏻🙏🏼. 

the end......

As I lay in bed unable to sleep.....I have a hard time coming to terms with our season being over.

You can easily get spoiled with the excitement of still playing football in December. Like a kid at Xmas you just keep wanting more.

It was tough losing in the quarter finals of the playoffs. Seeing our senior players hug their families with a tear in their eye knowing they had put their pads on for the last time....having just lost to the team we had beaten in our rivalry game early that year......that all their hard work preparing for the game by our coaches and players just wasn't enough. 

To be completely honest, I was also selfishly upset, knowing my husband would have to go on the road recruiting immediately next week.....the season's over. Time to prepare for the future seasons. I have to become, once again, a single parent taking care of our four children....while he is away finding future Jackrabbits.

It's never fun to lose, and even the best of coaches and players do. We've been a part of many staffs, and I have always really enjoyed seeing loyal fans and rivalry between schools. It has always been a fun experience for me.

Having said that, I don't think it's EVER ok to cheer when opposing team's players are hurt, or to shout for coaches to be fired, to bad mouth the other teams fans on some of the worst levels, or to celebrate with your team after you tried to hurt the other team's player worse when they were already down.

You really don't know the other team's story. Some players lost family members this year. Some battled through painful injuries for hopes to keep the season going longer. Some kids in the stands are children of coaches who believe in their fathers 100%, and don't need to hear anything different about them. Just remember those football players on the other team are also someone's son and deserve respect. 

You can still be a loyal fan and be classy. I've seen it at Florida State, Iowa, Colorado, Wisconsin, etc. I am all for loyal fans.....but there are some lines that shouldn't be crossed. What do we teach kids when we cheer when a player is injured??? Children are our future...it's awful.

Having said all that....I'm so proud to be a Jackrabbit, because through some trials and tribulations, we found a way to keep winning, and play until December 10th. We beat our big rivals during the regular season, and took home the Dakota marker to our new stadium. We won the Missouri Valley Football Conference and made it farther than we ever had in school history. 

After witnessing all that I saw Saturday. I am 100% proud to be a Jackrabbit. We know how to win games but keep our composure staying true and classy. That's Jackrabbit football💛🐰💙🏈

Big congrats to all our players.....and much love and thanks to all our seniors. Proud of our football family💙🐰💛🏈🙏🏼.

A Coaches Wife Should be. . . .

I'll never forget the moment I heard another coaches wife utter these words out loud "a coaches wives should be......." Realllllly?!?!?? None of us were given a manual when we married into this lifestyle! I've actually met some of the most amazing women in this profession......each very unique in their own way. We all have different stories......from moving, raising kids, the winning seasons, and the not so easy losing seasons. While there is no set mold we fit into......each coaches' wife does what works for them and their family.....I do believe there are 5 characteristics all great coaches' wives have in common:

1. She is Tough. We can juggle a lot on our own. Jobs, homes, family, moving, fixing, packing, and the unpacking on our own. Our husbands aren't the only busy ones in the season people.....coaches' wives keep it all together so our husbands can try to come up with a winning game plan week after week. 

2. Loyal. A coach's wife remains close and loyal to other coaches' wives. When one loses their job, they are right there to reach out and let them know they care. We all know it happens to the best of them. When my husband's team plays against a team where I know a wife, it's nice to meet up, but it's best to meet before the game. Someone has to win, and someone has to lose..... that's just how the game goes.....but when winning is so important to your livelihood, emotions can run high. I have a coach's wife I know who lost to our team this year. Within an hour of the game, she messaged me congratulating me on our Win. Now that's class. A coach's wife is always loyal to her husband's team as well......it comes before all others. Sure we might look at other scores and enjoy watching our alma mater, or our hometown team play on tv.....but our heart belongs to wherever football has taken us. 

3. Extremely Independent. Our husbands work ridiculously long hours, so being needy is not a good recipe for the wife of a coach. Coaches' wives aren't waiting around, looking like a lost puppy.....we hold our own. We know how to keep busy and have many interests outside of being married to this football life. 

4. She is Supportive and helpful. Who's your doctor? Where do you get your hair done? I need a ride,  my car's getting fixed. At every place my husband has coached, I've always been able to count on other coaches' wives when I needed help or advice. Any great coach's wife will be there for you.....just don't forget to be there right back. Give and take is what a good one does.....there is no "i" in team as they say. 

5. Loving. A coach's wife is her husband's biggest fan. There will always be fans, boosters, parents, media, etc. who question and complain about your husband's life work after a tough loss. That is a time where a coach's wife's unconditional love and support is more important than ever. Our husbands know that we love them regardless of their win/loss record or 3rd down play calls!

At each school we have been at, I've met wonderful women.....each with their own story..... but almost every one has embraced these qualities. Thank you to all the great ones....I've learned a lot from some of the best.......even that you always stand up on third down (thanks Julie H.). You are loving, loyal, supportive, helpful, independent, and some of the toughest women I know. 

Best wishes the rest of your season❤️🏈🙏🏼. GO JACKS💛🐰🏈💙🙏🏼!!!!

Don't Forget

Don't forget

Last Sunday morning, I was glowing.....drinking my coffee after another great win by South Dakota State the night before. It feels great knowing we are now 4-0 in our conference. 

Even though I am happy, I don't forget what it's like to have a season with 2 or 3 wins. It's really tough when Saturday after Saturday you are disappointed for the team having little to show for all their hard work......especially knowing the hours my husband and other coaches put in that whole week. I remember early in my marriage taking those seasons personally.

Don't forget that even the best of coaches lose games. Every week....half of the teams in the country lose. Some of the toughest games for me to handle have always been the ones you lose by just a few points....let's face it.....there is no moral victory for keeping it close......You either win or you lose. 

So as the season is more than halfway over in college football.......don't forget there are some football families out there worried they might get let go at the end of the season.......Thinking they may have to move again.......Worried about the possibility of having to sell a house.......Wondering where they would be moving to and they how they are going to pay for it......Concerned for their children possibly having to change schools and meet a whole new set of friends. That very football family may know they will be out of a job over the holidays.....and money will be tight. 

I won't forget because I've been there.....feeling all those things. It's easy for someone having a good season to say everything happens for a reason......because sometimes when there are uncertainties it can be really hard to believe that. I've moved 9 times in 14 years of marriage.....and not all by choice. So I am here to tell you.....everything does happen for a reason. We have had our salary fluctuate up and down, we've bought homes and then been forced to rent, had moves that cost us more money than I'd like to admit, and bounced around in different divisions just to stay in the profession. I don't forget that we have also been blessed with four beautiful boys in four different states we've lived in. I don't forget that after being let go after a head coaching change we went on to places where we had great success......one time even going to a national championship game.

So this post is to all the wives out there who are having one of those tough seasons. I am not going to forget all those wives that messaged me, called, or found some way to let me know they were thinking of me when I was going through those times. I will not forget, and do the same as they did for me. Coaches wives go through a lot and even though we may be having a great seasons.....it's sometimes bittersweet.....because another coaching family we know might very well be looking for a job at the end of this season.

Prayers to all the football families having tough seasons. Don't forget.....

🏈It's Tailgating Time🌭

It's Tailgating Time.....

Who doesn't love the idea of getting to the game early for some fun, with tasty food and refreshing drinks! As a Wisconsin native....I was raised on the tradition of tailgating.......believe me, this girl knows how to tailgate. My husband has coached for 10 college football programs....and I have found that at some schools tailgating has been a bigger part of the Gameday experience than at others. I love where he coaches now, at South Dakota State, because there is an amazing tailgating scene. Here are some great recipes and new ideas to help you win big at your tailgate this season:

THE DRINKS:

As much as everyone loves to have beer when they tailgate,  I hate the idea of feeling bloated and full. Why not Sangria? I have been making it for years and I still get asked for this simple easy recipe. 

Sangria:

1 bottle of a sweeter red wine

1 cup of sugar

4 sliced oranges

2 sliced lemons

Sprite or 7 up (I prefer using diet to cut down a little on calories😉🍷.)

Put fruit, sugar, and wine in pitcher. Let sit overnight. Add your Sprite when ready to drink.

Another one of my faves is a Bloody Mary bar......I mean we all need to get our vegetables in for the day right?!?!😉. Garnishes like olives hand-stuffed with blue cheese or garlic, pepper jack cheese cubes, pepperoni, and pickles are the perfect touch. I like to use Absolut Peppar Vodka with a Zing Zang Bloody Mary mix--it has just the right amount of spice.

Mimosas anyone?? I like to freeze champagne in ice cube trays and have them in a Tupperware in my cooler at the tailgate. Bring orange juice and you have an easy Mimosa🍊💃🏼🍾.

Don't forget juice boxes, bottled waters, and sodas. I know it's sad.....but champagne is not for everyone.....plus we can't forget about the babes (kiddos)👶🏼👦🏼👦🏻👦🏼.

THE FOOD:

I think it's always best to go with a proven winner on Gameday. And don't forget---it must be able to handle being out in the warm sun--especially during the early fall games. One of my favorite tailgating delights are cream cheese and salami roll ups. I got the recipe from a dear friend who is also a coach's wife (Oh how I miss tailgating with you Lindsay😉🏈🍻.)!

Salami Roll Ups:

Salami 

Cream cheese

Pickles or olives 

Spread cream cheese on salami. Place a pickle spear on top of the layer of cream cheese. Roll up and leave as is or cut into cute little slices. When using an olive roll the salami and use a toothpick to hold the olive on top.

Another great idea. Place Veggie dip at the bottom of clear plastic drink cups adding different vegetables in cup. Quick, easy, and a great on the go food to bring to your tailgate.

Also never leave out the kiddos. I make sugar cookies cutout in the shape of football jerseys every year. Frosted with our team colors of course---with the jersey numbers of some of our best players (Shoutout to 19 and 86.....and of course the O-Line!! 😉)

Another kid favorite (who am I kidding---adults love it too) is to melt Hershey's Hugs on top of a hard mini-pretzels in the oven, then adding team colored m&m's on top (you can order them on www.nutsinbulk.com, amazon, or other websites.) I've even found football shaped pretzels at Walmart....it's all about the details💛🏈💙.

THE DETAILS:

Since I mentioned it.....bring out your football crockpots, dishes, and I am all about this plastic wine tumbler that I so am ordering ASAP (who says you can't show some class--when they don't allow glass😉)

Also don't forget plates and napkins in team colors.....or mix and match football plates with napkins in team colors. Bring bean bags (cornhole) or a football for the kiddos to throw around. Plus it's always fun to make friends with those tailgating around you......I've heard Jackrabbits are some of the best 😉💙🏈🐰.

For other great recipes and ideas feel free to follow my Pinterest board "Tailgating Time" under Kimberly Eck. Best of luck to you all this week. Hope you win the game this week and at your tailgate💛🐰💙🏈🍷🍽