We flew out for the press conference the next day before returning to celebrate Christmas as a family. Jason left after the first of the year to start his new job while I took care of everything (and everyone!) back in South Dakota. As the wife of a college football coach, transitions such as these are common, and most college coaches’ families can relate. Many outside of coaching, however, don’t really understand our lifestyle and all it entails.
Everything is not ok.
I have to laugh out loud thinking this, but it’s really true. Friendly Reminder: Check on your friends or family in transition....we are not ok🤹🏼♀️🤣. They may need boxes....wine....a hug. Just be supportive.
You find out who your real friends are.
In this coaching profession we’ve gone through plenty of ups and downs. I’ll always remember who has been there cheering us on, but I also will hold close to my heart the ones that have been there to support us when times were tough.
It does not get easier.
I am going into my 10th move as a coach’s wife and I have been reminded more than a handful of times that “You’ve been through this before” or that it’s “it’s not your first rodeo.” Yes, I have moved before…..and no, it doesn’t make it any easier. I have moved pregnant more than once, have packed up an entire house after just having a baby, and moved twice in one week because our furniture would not fit through the door in a house my husband picked out, and my list could go on.
You are sad more than you’d like to admit.
I miss my husband. I miss my family together. A new ritual at our house is counting down the days until the next time our “team” is all together again. My kindergartner reminds me everyday “how many sleeps until he sees his Dad.” I love my children because they remind me to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
You tend to feel like the odd man out.
It feels odd to still be living in a town where your husband used to coach. The whole town rally’s around that team and you are no longer part of that. In all honesty it can be really lonely.
Loyalty is a two-way street.
Home is where football takes us. This is our livelihood and we will always pour our hearts into the team my husband coach’s for. Unfortunately, you sometimes lose friends over it.
You cannot make everyone happy.
It’s kind of like a trick play that helps win the game....people will love you when it works and you win the game. The next week when a completely different play doesn’t quite work out....they will be lashing out about it all over Social Media. The same goes for families in coaching....not everyone will be happy with the decisions you make....but in the end.....you have to do what’s best for your family. I have to continually remind myself to Ignore any judgment or what I like to call background noise.
There are always tough decisions no matter which way you turn.
Sometimes as a football family in transition you’re faced with challenging decisions to make. When will you move? When is the next time you’ll see your husband? Will the kids finish the school year? What about your Senior in High School? The list of questions could go on and on. I personally don’t know of many families outside of coaching that have to face these questions/decisions regularly. I have learned throughout the years that there is no perfect answer. The right decision is what you think is best for your family, and sometimes that decision will still be really tough.
Haters gonna hate.
Some people just can’t be happy for other people, or are only going to cheer you on if it benefits them. I will be forever loyal to the people in my life who’ve been supportive and had my back....and you better believe I’ll have theirs right back.
Change is good.
Change can be hard....but it also is good. My family is onto our next football adventure, and I am thrilled because we are returning to a place that we once called home-Moscow, ID. My husband is going into his first year as a Head Coach....and I couldn’t be more proud of him. We’ve loved every stop we’ve had throughout his career for different reasons, but we are so thrilled to be Vandals once again. Transitions are tough, but I am excited for this next journey and to be moving back to a place where we have friends that have been like family to us. I-D-A-H-O....IDAHO....IDAHO....GO GO GO!!!! #GoVandals 🖤🏈💛✌🏼