Friday, June 1, 2018

The Sixteen things 16 years of being married to football has taught me:

My husband and I are celebrating our 16th wedding anniversary today on June 1st. Through the ups and the downs.......the wins, and the losses......This is what I’ve learned being married to the game.

1. Marriage is never going to be 50/50. You have to sometimes give more than the other spouse in times of need. Any coach’s wife learns that REAL fast! During their husband’s season it can feel a lot like 10/90.

2. Don't listen to the critics. We've had people (even those close to us) doubt if our relationship could ever work. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed proving them wrong....on and off the field.

3. Listen. Pure and simple. It’s not my job to be the coach and tell him what I think he did wrong after a tough loss. It’s my job as his wife to be there for him..... to listen and support him.

4. The grass....or turf...isn't always greener on the other side. Water and take care of your own grass.....and you won't need to look for anything more. 

5. Date.....a lot. We have 4 kids and we date more now then we did with only 2. It's a break from chaos and time to enjoy each other. Even if that “date” ends up being somehow related to football....take it. I’ve learned to appreciate any and all time together. Coaches wives have to find the silver lining

6. You’ll cry. You’ll fight. Just don’t forget to laugh....sometimes it will even be at each other.
7. You’ll Grow. We’ve learned from our ups, downs, and in betweens. With every win, tough loss, hectic move, or transition....we learn and we grow.

8. Celebrate. Sometimes I joke with my husband that my birth wasn’t planned to accommodate football (my birthday always falls during winter recruiting.) His falls right in the middle of fall camp. I’ve learned in this crazy life it doesn’t matter when you celebrate as long as you get to.

9. Don’t compare. They say comparison is the thief of joy. Not everyone’s football journey is yours.....not everyone’s marriage looks the same.....or is what it seems.

10. Everyone has a love language. I read this book written by Gary Chapman a few years ago called The 5 Love Languages. We all have a language and I believe it's important to know yours and your spouses. 

11. You learn to love the not so easy to love parts of your spouse. You know all those things that annoyed you or you hated about  an old boyfriend.....for some reason when you really love someone they just don't bother you as much.

12. Communicate. There is a reason lack of communication is one of the leading causes for divorce. We talk about any big/little decisions together. Coaching jobs, money, camps, etcetera.

13. Protect. I've got his back and I need him to have mine. We are a team. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again....there’s no “i” in team right?!?!

14. Things are not always what they seem. No marriage is perfect....not one. There is a lot of work involved in staying together. We are still working on us.....every single day.

15. Be supportive. I am his biggest fan in the stands and he's my extra set of hands at home.....well.....when he can beπŸ‘°πŸΌπŸˆπŸ‘πŸΌ

16.Love and keep the faith. I’ve learned through the years of this crazy profession to not take the transitions personally. Love each other and keep the faith that God has a bigger plan for you.

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