Talk DERBY to ME.......

On the first Saturday of May, I will be attending my 6th Kentucky Derby at the Churchill Downs Racetrack in Louisville, Kentucky. They say it’s the most exciting two minutes in sports.....I say it’s everything leading up to the race that makes it an event you don’t want to miss.

I’ll be honest.....growing up in Madison, WI, I did not know much about the Kentucky Derby, and I had never even heard of the Kentucky Oaks (The Friday before the Derby when 3 year old Fillies run the featured race). I wasn’t quite ready for my first trip to the Derby back in 2008, when I bought a single, simple black hat from Macy’s to wear for both the Oaks and Derby day.

Since my “rookie” year in 2008......I’ve stepped up my game big time! This year I have planned and perfected for months so that I have just the right dress with the most fabulous custom-made hat to go with it. And one hat just isn’t enough for two straight days of racing.....😉Thank you Dee’s you never disappoint. 

So whether you are headed off to your first Derby this year, or it is just on your Bucket List for now....here’s what to expect during Derby.

“Hats Off”

You will not believe the Facinators and Hats you’ll witness in just two days in Louisville. I mean when or where do you get a better opportunity to go all out with a show stopping hat, exquisitely decorated with netting, flowers, and/or feathers. Many of the men choose to go with a very dapper look wearing an old school straw boater hat or fedora as well.

“Dress like a lady...or gentleman”

There’s usually some exceptions in the “infield” (the grassy area inside the oval track frequented by college students), but the majority of those in attendance take pride in showing off their “Sunday best.” Women are in classic spring dresses, and men are dressed in nice shirts and seersucker jackets. Coming dressed to the nines is the correct Derby attire.

“It’s all in the details”

Colorful neckties and bow ties are standard amongst men, and I personally favor when they are impeccably paired with a matching pocket square. Having just the right accessories can complete your look. Personally, I tend to stay away from big earrings while wearing a hat and to quote Jackie Kennedy “Pearls are always appropriate.” Don’t forget to looked polished with a mani and pedi. The right shade of lipstick, and amazing lashes will only enhance your eyes with your hat.

“Shoe Game Strong”

The Horses aren’t the only ones who have to have on the right shoes. This has been challenging over the years because it’s a long day on your feet. In my opinion, a heel is an absolute must, but have a pair of your favorite Tory Burch flats or flip flops stashed in your purse to throw on at the end of the day.....your feet will thank you.

“In the Bag”

I prefer bringing a straw or fabric handbag/clutch to finish off a spring inspired look. I always bring my Tory Burch tote to throw in my clutch, flats, and any little necessity a lady needs to look her best for a day at the races. You can always leave that at your seats.

“When in Rome”

....or at Churchill Downs 😉..... It’s always acceptable to toast the post time of the first race with a mimosa or bloody Mary. The front runner for cocktails to have at the races, however, will always be a Mint Julep or a Lilly. There is an old Kentucky proverb that says “keep your friends close & your bourbon closer.”

“All bets are NOT off”

When betting on the races it’s essential to know whether you want your horse to Win, Place, or Show (ie. finish 1st, 2nd, or 3rd). Selecting the winning horse of the Kentucky Derby definitely adds to the fun. When it comes to picking winners, I like picking horses based on their name, but friends of mine swear by picking them by the color of their silks or by their coat color.

To quote the American author Irvin S. Cobb “Until you go to the Kentucky Derby with your own eyes, behold the Derby, you ain’t never been nowhere and you ain’t ever seen nothing.” So if you are not counting down the days to Derby weekend like I am.....well then I guess as any good southern woman would say.....”Bless your heart.” 🐎👒👗👠🥃

We’re Not Moving????

My family is headed into year 3 at South Dakota State, which matches the longest we have been at a school in our 16 years or marriage. Our 1st 3 year stint was actually my husband’s first full-time coaching job. Back in 2004, he was hired as the Offensive Line Coach at the University of Idaho. The 3 years in Moscow, Idaho, were eventful; we bought our very first home and welcomed our second baby boy into this football life. At the end of the 3rd year our head coach took another job, and like most incoming head coaches, his plans did not include retaining many of the assistants. This is often referred to as “cleaning house.” 

At the time, being new to this “coach’s wife life,” I was a complete mess finding out we hadn’t been retained. I took it personally, and worried that people didn’t think my husband was a good enough coach. There were many nights shedding tears in fear that we’d never get another coaching job again. I am pretty sure my husband questioned if I could handle the ups and downs of this lifestyle. On another level....it was also sad to have to sell our very first house and leave a town that was truly starting to feel like home to us.

I have grown to learn over the years, as a “seasoned” coach’s wife, that it all works out. After Idaho, my husband found another coaching job in a beautiful town in Minnesota, and we spent two wonderful years there.

Since that time, we have had 5 more football moves....sometimes only staying for one year at a school. In all honesty, it makes me truly thankful that next fall will be our third season at South Dakota State University. It is a lot better writing this blog post instead of calling and getting estimates from Mayflower or United. After moving for football 9 times in 16 years of marriage, I’ve been there, done that. 

Most coaches’ wives can relate to late November through February, when you never know what may happen job wise and Football Scoop is a constant buzz of firing and hiring. I know from experience that the hardest part of being a coaches’ wife is the unknown.

Around this time of year I always start to feel a little unsettled. I start to look at my husband like.....Are you sure we are not moving?  I mean.....shouldn’t I be cleaning out closets right now? When you move around as a coach’s wife, you learn to let things go.....I mean why pay to move it, if you don’t really need it. I presently have a stack of wardrobe boxes and dish packs in our garage. I learned a lesson, because every time I have gotten rid of boxes in the past, we ended up moving the next year. You could say I am a little superstitious I guess.

We have also learned through all the ups and downs that come with this profession, that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. There is often a price to pay for the “better job.” One of our last moves to Montana is a perfect example of that. We left a team that went to the D2 National Championship game for a chance to “move up” to D1-FCS. We were only there for one year and I just had my fourth baby boy when we were let go. Maverick Montana wasn’t able to enjoy Montana for very long.

So as I write this blog post today I am truly thankful and blessed to say this football family is staying Jackrabbits for another year. I am happy for my family to stay settled and plant deeper roots in the wonderful state of South Dakota, a place that truly has become home to us.

This blog post is also about all the coaches’ wives out there dealing with unknowns right now. Keep the faith....it will work out, and please know i’ve been there. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers daily.

#NoFilter

I regularly post an abundance of pics on Instagram. While they’re mostly of my children (what can I say they're my whole world), you will also find an occasional pic from a date night with my husband......probably before the football season starts (#coachswifeprobs). I love using Instagram as a virtual scrapbook to store my family’s memories. If this annoys you....please consider unfollowing me....that’s just me👦🏼👦🏼👦🏻👦🏼📱🤷🏼‍♀️.

While spending time on Instagram over the years I’ve noticed that the hashtag #nofilter has become quite popular (well over 200 million posts to be exact). Are people trying to prove to their friends (or followers) that they are so fabulous they don’t need a filter????? Why???? I’ll be the first to admit it....filters are my friend!!!! As a mama with 4 boys, I embrace a good filter. I don't always use them, but who doesn't like an occasional brightened up pic on a day when you have had little to no sleep (the mayfair filter is my personal fave). Let’s be 100% real....don’t we all need a little help sometimes?!?! Now if only those filters could “help” me with my “Mom bun.” 

My “Mom bun” is  the messy bun I am regularly sporting during the week because I am too busy caring for my tribe. If I happen see another mom wearing this messy bun...we’ll probably hit it off immediately. More than likely we just get each other and all that comes along with a busy family.

On a typical day of running kids to and from activities, being a jungle gym to my toddler, and refereeing the battles between my four boys.....my “Mom bun” just gets stuff done! 

So I think we need to start thinking of those messy buns as a crown ladies. A true queen who gives her whole self to help and love her people. Let’s be honest....she’s probably put aside perfectly blown out hair that day for someone small who needed her more.

This post is a shoutout to all the wonderful mamas out there. Use those filters as needed....don’t be ashamed of wearing your messy bun like a crown.....and remember how truly important you are to your kingdom. 

How a Coach’s Wife Survives Recruiting

One of the hardest parts, in my opinion, about being married to a college football coach is the time he spends on the road recruiting. Weeks apart in January, December, or May can be tough for any wife; it’s hard not having your partner there....kids or not. With kids however (four boys for this Momma 👦🏼👦🏻👦🏼👶🏼)   recruiting gets extremely hectic when he is not around!  I miss the little things he can help with....taking kiddos to school, changing our babe’s diaper in the morning, or some much needed adult conversation after a day spent with toddlers. Don’t get me wrong....I am used to handling the majority of responsibilities that keep our family/home afloat during the football season. But at least we are seeing each other every day during the season (albeit sometimes in passing).  We can go to practice, stop by Daddy’s office for lunch, and it’s even reassuring just to have him sleeping next to me every night. The weeks can get long during recruiting....there is not even a game to look forward to on Saturday. It’s a conflicted feeling because I understand recruiting plays a HUGE part in the success of our future football seasons....but that doesn’t make the time alone any easier. 

With 3 more weeks to the late signing period, I wanted to share with you my top 10 ways to survive recruiting......

1. FaceTime. It’s a way for you to see each other and check in. Plus if you have children it’s so important for them to see their Dad. He can hear about their game, how that test went, or just hear how their day went at school.

2. Me Time. Recruiting is my time to do the things I love to do....but never have the time to do (we all know how crazy life gets during football season). For me, it’s scrapbooking (I love capturing major milestones of my kiddos growing up), catching up on my favorite shows he does not enjoy watching (Real Housewives of Atlanta isn’t at the top of his list😂), or reading a new book. 

3. Get Organized. I am overloaded after Christmas with “stuff”, and during recruiting I feel the urge to go through closets, both organizing and purging. You can donate items you don’t use anymore to a charity, or sell things on one of those Facebook rummage sights.


4. Movie nights. Living in South Dakota, January is the coldest month of the year. Being cozy at home watching a movie with the boys is a favorite pastime when Dad’s gone. Pizza + movie candy + pajamas = happiness at this house.

5. Travel to visit family/friends. Before my kids were in school and busy with extracurricular activities, I frequently took flight or fired up the car for a road trip during recruiting . It’s much harder now with 3 kiddos in school and playing basketball, but I highly recommend this for wives with no kids or young kids.

6. Relax. This goes hand in hand with #2 (Me time.) Give yourself a pedi/mani....even better go get one. Take baths and give yourself a mini facial with a great mud mask. I found one I swear that is available at Walmart or Target for under $4. A little R&R is good for anyone.

7. Exercise. I bet half of you stop reading this post now😂. While it’s not everyone’s favorite, I know that after Christmas I always feel fuller and I can use some extra workouts to burn off all the Holiday treats. Plus, it’s it’s always great to get a head start with spring and summer around the corner.

8. Do something different. You can tell I’m a total Mama because my “something different” this January was buying tickets to a Paw Patrol Show. I took my two youngest sons to dinner at McDonald’s, followed by the show...it was a perfect recruiting season diversion.

9. Night out. Now you finally have the opportunity to catch up with friends that you had difficulty making time for during the football season. Who would say no to some good convo and a glass of wine? If your are lucky enough to be at a school where wives get invited to the recruiting dinners on weekends (thanks Coach Stig), consider yourself lucky, it’s as close to a date night as you are going to get during recruiting!

10. Prayers. With my husband spending long hours on the road with all kinds of Midwest winter road conditions, I’m saying extra prayers to help me get through the uncertainties and my worries.

So as my husband is on the road currently, I making the most of my days during recruiting season. Signing day is less than 3 weeks away....here’s to hoping the sacrifices our football families make will help our teams have amazing seasons in the years to come. GO JACKS!!!

Go e.l.f. your Shelf

What can I say....I’m just a girl surrounded by boys, who loves to get her hands on some great beauty products. Being outnumbered by 4 sons and a husband will seriously make you appreciate a little glam in your life. That being said, having a big fam has also taught me how to budget. Gone are the days where I can justify shelling out large sums of money at a the Mac counter. I love hunting for high quality beauty products that are at affordable prices.

A couple years ago I came across eyes, lips, and face.....or e.l.f. My love affair with e.l.f. started with their black Expert Liquid Liner, and my collection of their products has grown religiously over time.

I encourage you to put your own e.l.f. on your shelf this holiday season and add their products to your makeup collection. These are my top 10 absolute fave e.l.f. products right now:

1. Everyday Smoky Eyeshadow Palette. I am a HUGE fan of a smoky eye and use everyone of these colors.

 

2. Rose Gold Eyeshadow Palette. A great one for a more natural eye. Love this one in the spring and summer with a great bronzer for a beachy glow.

3. Expert Liquid Eyeliner. My first and absolute favorite elf product. Only a couple bucks and it seriously works. Always in my vanity.

4. Beautifully Bare Satin Lipstick. Love the formula and how it feels on your lips. There are many great colors to choose from. My favorite color is “Touch of Nude.” I like to wear a dark smoky eye regularly, and this color balances out a more dramatic eye.

5. Lip Lacquer in Natural. Love this on top of nude lipsticks. Rich red is also fabulous during the holidays. The lacquer gives your pucker that extra gloss/shine we all want and love.

6. Lip Exfoliator. My second favorite e.l.f. product by a very close margin. It basically preps your lips by exfoliating dry chapped skin. With vitamin E, shea butter, avocado, and other great hydrating ingredients, your lipstick will go on and look fabulous with this product.

7. Natural Lip Liner and Blending Brush. I use this color with all my nude lipsticks, and some of my other lip colors. It has a great little brush on the end which blends into your own lip color so you don’t see a harsh line like with other lip liners. It helps prolong your lip color and makes your lips look fuller.

8. 11 Piece Brush Collection. A great set of reasonably priced brushes that I use regularly. 2 of the brushes are great for creating a smoky eye. There is also a Fan brush which I absolutely love to apply a bronzer for a light beachy glow.

9. Baked Highlighter. I love to use the Moonlight Pearls highlighter on my brow bone to give an instant eye lift. It is a fantastic all-around facial highlighter.

10. Mineral Infused Mascara. LOVE this mascara. It is a fabulous dupe (cheaper copy of a high end item) to the the Better Than Sex Mascara by Two Faced Cosmetics. The Two Faced mascara is $23 while e.l.f.’s is only $3. 

It won’t be hard to find this “e.l.f.” You’ll find it on the shelf at most stores, such as Walmart or Target. Or if your children are as good of shopping buddies as mine are, sign up for their emails and get a free shipping code for products sent right to your door. Happy Holidays to you all! Here’s to looking fabulous in the new year!

#FootballFamily

When I think about my life and what being married to a college football coach entails....it strikes me that there are quite a few ups and downs in this business. There are moves (9 times in 15 years for us to be exact), which lead to plenty of packing and unpacking. There is the experience of seeing beautiful new places for the first time, as well as time spent living in towns and cities that leave much to be desired. There is the excitement of seeing your husband’s hard work pay off in the form of a promotion or new job at a higher level.....and the disappointment of losing a job after a season gone wrong.  Even within the same season there are glorious Saturday evenings after a W, and miserable Saturday nights after a tough loss. Despite this craziness, I love being married to a football coach. One of my favorite parts of this business is meeting new people.....my #footballfamily. 

My football family encompasses more than just my sons, husband, and I. In fact, I've gathered new members every place we have lived. Through good times and bad, my football family has always stepped up and been there for me.

While we were at the University of Idaho, I had my second baby, and a coach’s wife (and dear friend to this day) came in the middle of the night to be with my 2 year old son while we went to the hospital. She was there for me when I was in the middle of  contractions—now that’s a football family at its best. 

When my husband has been on a staff that got fired, countless coaches’ wives reached out to me. Although it’s part of the profession, it’s never easy no matter how many times you've gone through it. Those wives continuously checked in just see how I was and to keep me in their thoughts and prayers. Those little moments when a fellow coach’s wife reaches out can mean the most. 

Even after my husband found a new coaching job, we were spending months apart, and that’s tough on a family. When I have been packing up homes with little kids running around, my #footballfamily has come to my rescue with packing paper or an extra moving box they had lying around. In all honesty...some of us coaches’ wives are truly afraid to get rid of those things. 📦 📦🚛🚚 Seems like as soon as you get rid of them, you need them again!

My football family is always up for a long drive to to an away game. It is always wonderful to see old friends from past stops on the coaching carousel. Even if we are now rooting for different teams, it does not matter, we are part of the same football family.

Many coaches’ wives like myself don't have the luxury of having family close by to help watch our children. I've had coaches’ wives help out at a moments notice when a babysitter canceled. They just get it.

But it’s not just coaches’ wives in our football family. We’ve become close with families of players over the years. One of my favorite traditions was when we were at Minnesota State University and we would have the “5th Quarter” after our home games. It was great way to meet and get to know the families and friends of our players. To this day, we are still close with some of those families. 

The players.....let’s not forget about those boys. They’re almost like having more sons of our own......what can I say......4 just isn’t enough👦🏼👦🏼👦🏻👦🏼😂. I hate when they get hurt, and I love seeing them succeed on and off the field. I know boys well....I feed them treats during game week....or an occasional meal at the house. It has always been an exciting day for our sons when the offensive line comes  over to the house for dinner. When one of them is successful enough to play football after college....you better believe one of my sons will be asking for that jersey for Christmas that year. 

So I am forever loyal to my football family. The ones who have been dear friends even though our zip codes and team colors might not be the same. The ones who cheer your team on....well unless you’re playing them that week of course😉! The ones who have been like an extended part of our own family. I am forever greatful for football....because it gave me my #footballfamily.

What's In My Bag On Game Day?

Like a team needs footballs, shoulder pads, and a good game plan.......a coach's wife must be prepared on gameday....especially if you have four babes (kiddos) like me! When it comes to gameday, "I go big or go home" (and as Vicki says on RHOC....I am not going home!) You'll typically find me on game day carting around my large football bag with my tribe👦🏼👦🏼👦🏻👦🏼. Though I have been teased before that it's my "Mary Poppins" bag, having the proper essentials are a major 🔑 when it gameday! Take a look at what's inside my bag:

1. Wet wipes/baby wipes: They are the Swiss Army knife of the parenting world. Trust me...you'll use them....kids or not.

2. Snacks, snacks, and more snacks. I am sorry but this mama does not want to miss one play in line at the concession stand--I want to watch the game! Plus....have you seen the prices at the stadium....I mentioned I have 4 kiddos....right??? 💵💰💸 I'll stash snacks any place I can to get them into the game......you gotta love zippers. 

3. Binoculars. We bring them to every game. It's a way to get a closeup on daddy....he can be very entertaining when he gets fired up.

4. Activities. I have been known to pull out some crayons and an activity book to entertain a child through the years. I am not afraid to bring an iPad either. I can remember back when my oldest two sons were little, a portable DVD player came in pretty handy in desperate times. Let's face it...a 2-5 year old can get bored at a game. Because I actually want to watch the game......I bring out all the stops.

5. Cheer gear. Somehow I have ended up with an abundance of foam fingers, Pom-poms, and cowbells in my bag.....the Eck fam doesn't disappoint when it's time to make some noise on third down💙😫🏈💛🗣🛎.

6. My phone.....lets be clear on this. I only use it at the stadium to take pictures....all those game day moments and scoreboard pics are great memories.. Nothing drives me more crazy than seeing someone staring at their phone during an important part of the game. No....I don't care about any other scores right now.....watch the game!!!!

7. If it's cold...handwarmers. When it comes to watching football in the fall, South Dakota is never going to be confused with Southern California. Being a Wisconsin native, I know how to come prepared for those chilly games. Just shake and throw them in your mittens...they'll last for the entire game and keep your hands warmer than your mittens alone. 

8. Cosmetic bag. Let's not forget my blog is called Beauty, Babes, & Ball. I keep a few beauty items in my bag to freshen up after the game. After a big Win, I don't want to miss an opportunity to get that great family pic under our scoreboard. A lipstick/gloss, bronzer/powder, brush, and hairspray. Just the absolute staples😉💄👍🏼.

9. Gum or mints. You need to have something to freshen things up so you can kiss your coach after the game. They have worked hard all week to get a Win.......and let's face it.....you've worked hard too.💋🏈.

10. Oh yes....a biggie....don't forget your tickets!!! Not something I like to admit, but yes, it has happened to me🎟🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Just like coaches....it takes a lot for us to prepare for game day. So I'd love to hear from you.....what's in your bag on game day ladies?